I (won't) Cause You Pain
by elizabethbane
Summary: But unlike last time, I was remembering possibly the best piece of advice I had ever been given. "There is much sense in madness. One only has to look for it." Tessa is in despair, and what will that cost? WARNING: dark thoughts, cutting, and possible death. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! DISCLAIMER: I DON"T OWN THE INFERNAL DEVICES! Rating may change. Bad first chapter. ;)
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story of how I expected the end of Clockwork Prince to go, but am so glad it didn't. Please forgive my tendency to end in cliff-hangers. It's a talent.**

* * *

**Prologue**

**Tessa P.O.V.**

Both of them. Both of the boys I loved are in love with me.

Will and Jem. Jem and Will.

But they cannot both love me, because that means that I have torn them apart, and I won't be responsible for causing that.

* * *

I was in my room at the Institute, the only place I can think clearly, other that the Library but I can't go there, for fear of Will. I could go to the music room, to talk with my fiance Jem, but I couldn't do that without thinking of the pain I would be causing myself. I would bear it, but I fear that it would show in my eyes. Jem would never not see it.

So I sit here, with Verlac, and Tennyson, Jane Eyre, and Pride and Prejudice. But I want to read none of them, because I deserve to feel pain, and any form of book will just numb that pain. I remember a week ago, when Will had confessed to me. I had been happy, really happy, for second, but then I had recalled why I couldn't accept his feelings. It had been a week since Sophie had bandaged up my hand with salve, saying "Just don't break his heart miss." It had been close to a week since we had won back the Institute from the crazed clutches of Benedict Lightwood, and Jem and I had announced our engagement.  
The Shadowhunters had always called me 'inquisitive", but this week, only two questions were plaguing my mind.

How have I survived the guilt this long?

What will I do to end their pain?

"Miss Tessa?" Sophie entered my room.

"Yes, Sophie?"

"Please come to breakfast. No one has seen you in days, and Mrs. Branwell is worried."

"Oh, of course." I had completely forgotten the need to appear normal. Or at least, not heart broken. "I'll be down in a minute."

"No you won't, your coming with me, right now miss." She quickly grabbed my arm and hauled me to the door.

"But Sophie."

"No, miss. You need proper food, and even if you're in the middle of a book, your going to get it." There was no disputing her stone expression. Besides, I really wasn't in the middle of a book, unless the torn pages of my heart count.

"Oh all right. I'm coming Sophie."

"Good." And she led me down the hall to breakfast.

* * *

When we entered, I found Charlotte, Henry, Jem, and Will already seated. The only person missing was Jessamine. But where-oh she had been taken to the Silent City.

My face would have fallen if it weren't for the fact that it had no where else to fall.

"Tessa." Jem greeted me warmly. We had yet to announce the engagement, so that was all he was permitted to do. "How nice to see you, at least, with your nose out of a book."

"Thank you Jem, and I do apologize, I'm in the middle of a delightful story, but I can't explain it at all." I told him as I sat down, across from Will, next to Jem.

"So you're reading Alice in Wonderland again?" Will smirked at me, but his eyes stayed cold.

"Good heavens, no. I told you Will, it's a nonsense story."

"But I said-"

I cut him off. "Yes, I know what you said, but that doesn't change my views."

We stared at each other for a moment, and I knew we were not just arguing about the book, it was something else.

"So, Tessa, what book are you reading?" Charlotte cut the obvious tension.

"Oh, well, Sense and Sensibility." I smiled up the table at her.

"That is a good story. I must say."

"I don't think so." Said Will.

"Why not?" I thought he liked it.

"Because, I couldn't make sense of it!" He laughed.

I immediately caught on to the joke, and tried to laugh with him, but failed miserably.

"Will, where do you come up with all those nutty thoughts?" Jem smiled.

"Where other than from you, my good man." He laughed again.

"Oh, dear. Henry, would you be so kind as too come with me to the drawing room?" Charlotte asked her husband. "Henry? Henry. Henry!"

"Oh, uh yes dear?" He woke up from his bowl.

"Oh, never mind." And she left the dining room.

"What? Oh dear." And he also left, but in the opposite direction.

"Well, there goes that meal." Jem sighed.

I decided that enough was enough. I couldn't be in the same room as these two. Not now, not ever. "Ah well, I have to get back to my book. Jem, Will." I nodded to them, then proceeded to my own room.

"But Tessa!" Jem called out to me.

"Yes?"

"You didn't eat."

"Oh, well, I'm not hungry. Sorry, but I'm needed elsewhere." Away from you, and away from all this torture.

My heart just couldn't take it much longer.

* * *

**Okay, I know it's really short but I wanted to put the first part on suspense. Plus, this is going to be really emotional and that will be hard for me to write. So the first chapter was just to start the story and let everyone know that Tessa has gotten really messed up. So please forgive me.**

**But I'm telling you now, to read the other chapters, because it is them the reviews were written for. Sorry for this first chapter, but i have a deadline for it's editing: September 4th. If it's not edited by then, then I have failed in my duty as a writer. And I apologize. **

**Don't let this bad chapter get you down, and please follow! **


	2. Leaving

**I'm sorry for just leaving the story, and honestly, it's been eating me pretty bad. But I have returned to give Tessa another chance. I also kinda got bored with this story.**

**DISCLAIMER: MOST CHARACTERS IN THIS ARE CASSANDRA CLARE'S! I only own the OCs. **

* * *

**Tessa POV**

I was sitting in my room at the Institute again. Like last time I was surrounded by books, which I did not read. Like last time I was torn up inside from guilt. Like last time I was considering my options.  
But unlike last time, I was remembering possibly the best piece of advice I had ever been given.

"There is much sense in madness. One only has to look for it." **(A/U this is Cassie Clare's)**

William had told me it after I had brushed off Alice in Wonderland as childish madness, on my first day in the cathedral like building. I had turned away, thinking that the thought was mad, which it certainly was.

But not now. Now it was all that mad sense. My current life _was_ madness. _'Madness and pain' _I thought, as I looked down at the fire-poker shaped scar on my palm. There was that pain, plus all that I had caused Will and Jem.

I suddenly felt like Hamlet from Shakespeare. He had contemplated suicide at one point, hadn't he? _"To be, or not to be? That is the question."_ **(A/U credit for that is the Bard's)**

"To stay, or not to stay? That's your question Tessa." I said to myself.

Then there was a knock at the door. Sophie probably it was around time for dinner.  
But it wasn't. It was Henry surprisingly.

"Hello, Tessa?"

"Yes Henry? What is it? Did something happen?"

"No, well yes, but it is something that you needn't be concerned with. I have just come to ask your advice." He said as he stepped into the room, keeping the door open.

"_My advice_?" I asked, because in all situations Henry was far wiser than me. "Why Henry, I thin that Charlotte would be better suited to answer you-"

"But Charlotte is what I came to ask you about." He cut me off. "You see, I don't know what I have done to upset her, but she seems cross wit me lately. I don't know what to do."

"And you think I do? I'm sorry Henry, but you know Charlotte better than probably anyone in the Institute. Better than me certainly."

"I guess you're right. But you, Sophie, Jessamine, and Bridget are the only women here. So I thought I could ask advice."

"Oh." I could see his reasons for asking me first. Sophie was the only other one who would answer him, and she would probably confuse him. "Well, then here is my advice. Ask Charlotte what is wrong, and if she tells you, you can try to help her. If she doesn't, then you might want to ask Sophie or someone else about it. Or just spend some more time with her Henry. I'm sure that might help, but don't croud Charlotte."

"Ask, help, spend time with her. Got it. Thank you Tessa, and I know I can be a pain sometimes, so sorry if I disturbed you." He said cheerily, moving back to the door gain. "Honestly, I was thinking of just leaving the Institute for a while, to give my wife space."

"Your welcome Henry, I hope everything works out." I replied, playing his last sentence over in my head. "_I was __thinking of leaving the Institute__ for a while."_

Thank you Henry. Because with five words, he had changed my entire thought pattern. Unlike last time, I knew what I was supposed to do.

* * *

A little while later, I recieved another knock on my door, which I opened to find Sophie.

"Hello Miss Tessa. It's time for dinner, would you like help dressing?" She greeted me in her usual happy mood.

"Yes, please. Oh, and Sophie?" I let her in, and she walked over to the wardrobe, pulling out a blue dress with a v-neck and elbow length sleeves.

"Yes?"

"Please call me Tessa, no miss."

"But it isn't proper."

"I know, but I was think earlier, how I would like you as a friend, not maid."

"Well, that's very nice." she blushed. "But it still wouldn't be proper."

"These are Shadowhunters Sophie, do they care much for proper? If we live with them, I think us as friends would be alright." Before I left, I wanted at least one person to know why.

"Oh, well then. . .alright Miss-"she cut off when I looked at her. "Tessa."

"Thank you."

So she helped me into the dress, then put my hair into a simple chignon, and re dressed my wound.

"There you go, all beautiful for Jem."

I had forgotten he would be there. Ah well, I could look happy for him at least once more.

* * *

Dinner wasn't actually as bad as I had feared. This was mainly do to the observation that a certain William Herondale wasn't there. I suspected he was too heartbroken to attend and see Jem and me together. Just more pain that I was the cause of.

"Tessa? Are you there?" I heard a voice, pulling me from the internal cold.

"Wh-what?" I saw Jem waving a hand in front of my face from across the table, his face concerned. "Oh, sorry. I've just been distracted lately. I found a copy of Verlac in the library, and was just thinking about the plot."

"Oh, well you looked to be slightly pained. Is everything all right?" Jem was not convinced.

"Yes." I said hurriedly, it was hard to lie to him. "The plot was a bit confusing. It was hard figure out."

"Well, maybe Will can help you. Where is he anyway?" Jem looked around.

"Never mind him now. Remember everyone, tomorrow is the Council meeting" Charlotte spoke up.

"Yes dear, and we all know that there is no chance for us to fail." Henry looked at her. "Please stop worrying." It appeared he had taken my advice, odd.

"Henry, our winning is not assured."

"No, but it is the most likely outcome, so do stop looking like that." he pointed towards her face, which _was_ deep in worry."

"Yes Charloote, do stop. It's making me worry as well." Jem put in.

"Oh, so you're all going to gang up on me? Very well, our fate is in stone an there's nothing I can do to change it." She put up her hands in defeat, as Henry and Jem looked smug. "Very well, now I must go. There is someone who requested to meet with me tonight."

But just as she was almost out the door, I called after her. "Charlotte? Um, could I speak with you later, I had a couple questions."

Charlotte was surprised, but kept it off her face well. "Of course Tessa, meet me in the drawing room in an hour."

"Thank you." I said as she left.

"Tessa? Is something wrong?" Jem turned back to me, with the concerned expression again.

"Yes, but I'm quite tired, I think I'll retire to rest before speaking with Charlotte. Goodnight." I said, getting up from my chair and almost running out of the dining room.

When in the hall I hurried to my room, but I wasn't fast enough. Who did I happen to see outside my door? Will.

* * *

**Okay, short rushed chapter, but I was trying to get this done quick. Sorry. **

**But what will happen now? Will Tessa and her boys be able to fix the situation before she leaves? Or will she leave the institute too soon? Who will she meet in the next chapter?**

**All these questions and more answered soon! I promise! **

**Stay in love! And next update will come by next week!**

**Bey!**


	3. A talk in the Library

**As of the last time I checked, my name is NOT Cassandra Clare, so I do not own the Infernal Devices**

* * *

**Tessa's POV**

_Flashback_

_When in the hall, I hurried to my room. But I wasn't quite fast enough, and who did I happen to see standing outside my door? Will._

_End of Flashback_

"Will?" This was odd, for the last few days Will had done nothing but ignore me. Now he was waiting outside my door ready to talk with me?

"Tessa." He answered.

"Is there something you need my assistance with?"

Will looked startled, as if he couldn't remember, but as soon as the expression was there, it was washed away by a solemn one. "Yes actually, I need very much to speak with you."

"Oh, w-well then shall we talk in the library? Or the drawing room?" I instantly regretted saying the drawing room. That was where we had had our last "talk", and I'm sure neither of us wanted a repetition.

He winced, but spoke. "The library, if it suits you. We both seem to be calmer there, and I wish to have all my senses at the moment."

"Okay, then shall we go?"

"Of course." And we walked down the hallway to the library.

* * *

"So Will?" I needed to break the almost fifteen minute silence.

"Yes?"

"What is it you wanted to discuss?"

"What's happening to you?"

Oh dear. "Wh-what do you m-mean? Nothing's happening."

"We both know that's not true," he smirked, but then glared. "You're not eating, I haven't seen you in the library more than once, and you're not as inquisitive."

True, true, and also true.

He continued. "All that worries me, because I know what you're doing Tessa. I know what those things lead to in a person, because I nearly went down that path. And trust me when I say this, it leads to self destruction. No where else."

"Why do you care." I mumbled, almost inaudible. Almost.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"No it wasn't."

"How do you know?"

"Because," now he definitely smirked. "You have no reason to be saying the word nothing after what I told you. That's how I know."

"Well, is there anything else you need to say or prove, _William_? Because I have to go talk with Charlotte, and I wish to be calm and have my senses at the time."

"You're meeting with Charlotte isn't for at least another half hour, and I still have more to tell you." Had he been listening outside the dining room? Of course he had.

"Then get on with it!"

"Very well," he got up and started pacing. "Tessa, why aren't you happy?"

If only I could tell him. "Will, I would love to tell you. But-"

"But what!?" now he keeled in front of me. "Why can't you tell me so I can help you?" His voice was so pained I almost gave, but instead I did to him something I had experienced a thousand times. I pushed him away.

"Because no one can help me! NO one can Will! I'm a freak even to the freaks in this world. And to them, I'm not even a person! I'm just a tool, an instrument, a thing that has no power of it's own. Something that _can't_ be helped." I was now crying as I backed away, towards the door. "That's all I am Will! A warlock that should be kept away unless needed for power. That's all and nothing else."

He took a step near me, reaching out his arms. I ran from the library, and down the corridor to Charlotte.

* * *

**Sorry for the short, late, and very bad chapter. But I had to get it done. But here are all the names I need to credit for this story's continuation. I think that without at least all of you, this thing would have never gotten past the first badly done sentence. **

**LazuliLAnime25**

**artistofthemind**

**Evil Ducks I especially thank you, because you loved the first chapter, and even I don't like it!**

**Hearts With Love I personally thank you for both wonderful reviews, and for wanting the story to go on. **

**I LOVE YOU ALLLLLL! And for the person who got spoilers, Tessa did cry, but it's not just her that'll shed tears. **

**New chapter will be up in a week!**


	4. The Asian Warlock

**So, this story has been getting a lot of reviews, and trust me, that is surprising. So, thank you, because I frankly can't fathom how you like it. But you do, so I'm still going to write it. **

**Cassandra Clare owns all the characters, except my OC.**

* * *

**Tessa POV**

_He took a step near me, reaching out his arms. I ran from the library, and down the corridor to Charlotte._

* * *

I couldn't believe what I just done. Yelled at Will? I admit that I would never take it back if I could, but it showed me just what was going on. It showed me that I was crazy, and if I wasn't out of the Institute soon, the people around me would be effected as well.

I wouldn't do that to them, just the thought sickens me.

Before I knew it, I was at the door to the drawing room, with still another thirty minutes until I could convince Charlotte to let me leave. It probably wouldn't be that hard, after all I was only bringing danger here with my mere presence.

I heard a female voice from inside, but I couldn't tell who it was. "Lottie, I do believe that you'll win the Council tomorrow, you just have to believe it yourself." Ah, so it wasn't Charlotte, but whoever she was meeting with.

"I know, Ms. Bane. It's just hard to believe that after all that's happened. And you yourself know that even if I do win tomorrow, after the meeting, I will still have many people who think I should be expelled form the post as Leader of the Institute."

"Oh, come now Charlotte, you may have people who still hate you, but that doesn't mean you won't ave twice as many who love you." I could practically hear the smile in her voice. But the Mrs. Bane? Was she Magnus' wife? I had never see him wearing a wedding ring, or speak of a wife.

I leaned forwards, and a floor board creaked. I hoped they thought it was just Sophie, or another member of the Institute passing by, not me eavesdropping. After all, what would Aunt Harriet think of that!

Mrs. Bane spoke again. "Lottie, I do believe that we're being listened to. Should we see who it is?" Oh no.

"I already know who it is, but Tessa won't be in trouble for her own inquisitive mind." And with that, she opened the door, and I nearly fell over. "Hello Tessa dear. Don't worry about getting reprimanded, I actually have someone for you to meet."

She led me inside, and I found a very pretty woman in a lavender dress, gloves, and hat, standing next to the coffee table. She had Asian features, with almond shaped black eyes, an small nose, and long black hair, which fell across her shoulders in small waves. She looked a lot like Magnus to be exact.

She greeted me with a warm smile, saying "Good evening Theresa. I presume that you had something to discuss with Charlotte?"

"Umm, yes, but it can wait 'til you two are finished. I swear."

"Oh, Tessa." Charlotte closed the door, probably to keep away other listeners. "There's no need for Ms Bane to leave, I'm sure whatever you have to say is perfectly fine with her here."

"I guess." By the Angel, I'll never get over Shadowhunter's familiarity.

"Good, why don't you sit, and I'll properly introduce you two." She gestured me to a chair facing Mrs. Bane.

"Hello, my name is Elizabeth, Elizabeth Bane." She held out her hand, which I took.

Then my question got the better of me. "Are you Magnus Bane's wife?"

Silence.

"Oh good heavens no!" Elizabeth _laughed._ "Oh, I'm not his wife, my mother help me if I am. No, my delusional warlock, I'm his sister."

Wow.

"Wait, how can Magnus have a sister?"

"Well, half sister. We had the same father, and our mothers were just a few miles and centuries apart. So yes, he has a sister."

"Oh, well then would you be willing to help me?"

"It depends, with what?"

"Yes Tessa, please tell us. What is going on?"

This was the hard part, but hopefully, it would get me where I need to go.  
"Well," I squirmed. "It's hard to say this, but. . . .I need to leave the Institute."

Elizabeth looked confused, as if she didn't know why she was there. Charlotte just looked sad, but not as shocked as I expected. Did she not care for me?

"Oh, Tessa." She was close to tears, I knew from the way she focused on her tea cup. "I knew it would come to this. I don't know why, but something has taken your spirit, and with it, your heart. Dear, I care for you as if you were one of my own children, and so I wish for you to stay here, where it's safe. But I can also see that staying here will result in only pain for you."

I had no words. How was I to say that she had just expressed pain so great, that it made me want to stay all that much more?  
I couldn't.

"I see why you need me." Elizabeth broke my reverie. "I can get you out of London without anyone noticing."

The both of us nodded.

"But the question still stands, when?"

. . .

"Hmm. . .I have it." Charlotte said. "Tessa, why don't you pack tonight then. . .you can leave tomorrow." Her sad expression betrayed the lighter tone in her voice.

"But Charlotte! I don't want to miss the Institute's victory!" I really didn't, and she probably didn't want me too either.

"I know dear, but we don't have many other options."

"Have you forgotten I'm here?" Elizabeth twirled a lock of dark hair. "I have another option."

"Which is?" I asked.

"I come and get you, after the Council meeting. It might look slightly suspicious, but Charlotte can say that Magnus wanted to see you urgently. Then, I take you to the ship yard, and we go from there." She smiled like she had solved all the problems in the world, wide with straight white teeth. Well, most were straight, except for her two incisors, which were long and pointed.

I pointed them out, saying. "Are those your warlock mark?"

"Oh, these?" Elizabeth rubbed one with a purple finger tip. "No, _these _are my warlock's mark." And with that, she pulled off her hat, revealing a pair of fluffy, striped cat ears. She wrinkled her nose, and they twitched, then started swerving in all directions.

I gasped, did this mean that she didn't have _real, human _ears?

"No, actually, I don't. And trust me, my ears are hard to glamour. Very hard."

"Oh."

"Yep."

Silence again, until Charlotte jumped up. "Oh no! Tessa, we've got to pack your things! Do you want me to call Sophie?"

"I'd rather you didn't. It's going to be hard enough for her as it is, I don't want to add any extra burdens on her. I can do it." For once in a long time, I was speaking pure truth. I really didn't want to cause poor Sophie any more pain then I was going to, which was already too much. "Yea, I can do it, and my things will be ready by tomorrow."

"Okaaayyy. . . if that's the way you want to do it." Charlotte's air was one of regret. And deep, deep. . . sadness.

"It is."

"Then why don't you and Elizabeth go along. I have some paper work I need to do."

"Of course Lottie." The Asian girl led me out of the drawing room, and down the hall. "Tessa, even if it doesn't mean much, I'm sorry you had to go through this. I really am."

"Oh, it's okay. I'm actually glad of it, a bit."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm not a Shadowhunter. Before I was dragged into this mess, I was just an ordinary mundane, and I'm more suited to that role than the one of a warlock girl with strange powers."

"I can see what you mean. Now, is this your room?"

I looked at the surrounding tapestries, and saw the familiar tear. "Yes, it is."

She proceeded inside, but I stayed back, thinking on something I had seen as we were leaving the drawing room.

There had been something in the shadows, a shape that I had noticed for a second, as it crept away.

* * *

**Okay, here's the list of what this chapter had/was:**

**Filler (she's leaving the Institute next chapter)**

**Cliffhanger (my favorite ending)**

**New Character (don't know if she's evil or not)**

**YAY! 14 reviews so far, and I can't believe it!**

**Okay, first chapter was supposed to be edited by now, and so it's what's going to be updated on Saturday. I SWEAR ON THE ANGEL!**

**Seriously. **

**Okay, first week of school is next week, and so I won't be updating as frequently. But it will be updated every month. **


	5. NOTE: IMPORTANT!

**This is not an update, sorry. I know a lot of people wanted this to continue soon. I mean, by the Angel! Tess hasn't even left the Instsite yet!**

**But I'm starting school again, and it's weird. And that means that this won't be updated nearly as much as it should be. But I won't ever go more than a month without updating this. That is certain, I think.**

**Anyway, the truth is. . .I'm scared of this story. That wasn't the right wording. I'm. . . .sure of it, and that scares me. I know where this is going to go, and I know how to get there, but I'm afraid. If I write it, it'll only eventually come to an end, and that isn't something I want, because it feels as if this story is something special, something that. . .I can't even say it. **

**I'm a writer, and I can't say something. Damn. **

**So yea. I'll be updating in a couple weeks, just have to get into the flow again. **


	6. Sydney Carton

**Wow, I can't believe I'm only 5 chapters into this story. It feels like much more. **

**Huh.**

**ANYWAY: DISCLAIMER I DON'T OWN THE INFERNAL DEVICES! CASSANDRA CLARE DOES!**

* * *

Elizabeth POV

I left the Institue with a sad heart. It had taken only two hours to pack up Tessa's things, and most of that time was spent comforting the poor girl whenever she fell to the nearest flat surface crying. I had asked her why she wanted to leave, and the answer was as obvious as it was heartbreaking. Along with the pure fact that she had once been happy, it made me want to set fire to things. But I refrained, and walked out the large doors with the intent to return the next day after the Council meeting.

However, I had a mission, which was too reserve passage to America for Tessa, and also to speak with my brother. Magnus might also help with the ship connections, considering how much the boy travels, I may travel a lot, but it was mostly around Europe.

My lavender dress swirled around my feet as I walked to my carriage. I may have the power of magic on my sde, but no lady wants to be caught in London without an escort. Quite odd and old fashioned in my mind, but ah well, se la vi.

My mind turned to Magnus as the London streets passed me. I hadn't seen him in the last four hundred years, and it would be nice to see if I was remembered, or at least thought of. We had never really gotten along, with his outrageous style, and my destrucitve tendaces, but we were still close in ways. I loved cats just as much, never really cared what the magical community thought, and even dressed similarly sometimes.

But, despite all that, our biggest difference was our relationship with our father. The all powerful Demon Lord Asmodeous.  
He liked to bug me. A lot.

But I couldn't think of that as the cariage pulled into a drive, which surprisingly, was not Cammile Belcourts, but instead, my old love's. Scott Woolsey.

"Oh, Magnus. If I find you two together, I might just retch." I shook my head, nearly nocking my hat off.

But, I strode up to the door anyways, knocked, and waited. Soon, I was greeted by a nightdress clad werewolf, with sholderlength blonde hair, and blue eyes, one of which was covered by a monocule.

As soon as I smiled, Woolsey glared. "What are _you_ doing here, Elizabeth?" He spat my name like poison.

"Visiting my brother, what else?" You would have to really know me to notice the venom among the sugar.

"What if I don't want you to?"

"Then we might have a slight problem, so please move." I batted the fingers of my right hand.

He gulped. But stood his ground, or rather, doorway. "I'll let you in." now, the damned werewolf smirked. "But you do not see Magnus until he agrees to see you."

Damn. However, a lady of my stature never gives up. "Verywell." I swept up my skirts and quickly stepped inside. "I can wait."

I was in a beautifuly decorated foyer, which I didn't really take in. After all, I had to see someone.

"You can put your things there." Woolsey pointed to the mahogany sideboard, right below a gold mirror.

He probably expected me to take them over myself, but instead, I snapped my fingers and my hat, over coat, and gloves were all perfectly laid down. "Thank you, dear."

"I am not your 'dear'. Now please, follow me." He led my down the hall, up a flight of stairs and, surprisingly, into the drawing room. "You can wait here."

"For Magnus?"

"No, for both of us." Ah, establashing that he wasn't a footman.

"Of course." I sat in a chair by the firplace, and noticing a book, started reading.

Woolsey left, and didn't come bac for at least a half hour. I had gotten a fourth of the way through.

"Magnus doesn't wish to see you."

"Well, then tell him I have a way to change his mind."

"And what might that be?" He crossed his arms.

"One word: Tessa."

. . .

Woolsey blinked, then ran off.

. . .

Magnus walked in, looking slihgtly flustered in his black pants, red waist coat, and black jacket. "You wanted to see me?"

I smiled, because I was really happy to see him. "Magnus! I have missed you." My lavendar dress swished as I hugged him.

"I have missed you too, sister. I would have seen you sooner, but I did not know where you were."

"It is alright, but I do have things to discuss with you."

"I heard. Then let us discuss them."

We sat down, Magnus in my previously occupied chair. He snapped, and a tray of tea was before us.

I sipped at it, but noticing his look, I got to the point. "Tessa has decided to leave London."

His cat eyes shifted. "How do you know this?"

"I was there when she expressed it."

"Hmm. . .and this has to do with me how?"

Was he really that naive? "You know that I prefer to travel without mundanes, so I thought that you would be able to help us get her back to America."

He nodded. "Of course. But the residants of the Institute might have a problem with that."

"Charlotte does not."

"Really?"

"Yes." I looked down at this. "She knows Tessa is suffering." I closed my eyes, and my ears pulled down. I did't like talking about it.

"Wha. .Oh." He realized what I was talking about. "Then I will be happy to help. May I ask, what exactly is the plan?"

This brought me up. "I will fetch her tomorrow after the Council meeting, and say that you have something to tell her. Then you will meet us at the docks."

"Will we also be accompanying her out of Endland as well?"

"I do not know yet. That will depend on her."

Magnus nodded again. "Then I shall prepare for a journey. I trust you have no luggage?"

"Yes. I can procure some in America."

"Perfect. Now, it is late, so I suggest we retire." He got up, and pointed down the hall. "There is a room down there you may use."

"Good night then, brother."

"Good night Elizabeth."

And we parted ways.

* * *

**Will POV**

"Charlotte Branwell." I whispered, and passed the bottle to the man sitting next to me. I was bored.

It may have been the Council meeting, but those things could never hold my attention for very long. Not like Tessa.

Said girl had been acting strange all day, figeting, letting her eyes drift, and even stopping in the middle of a sentance. Not that she said much to me anyways, not after the night before.  
I couldn't believe that Tessa thought those things, or that she could destroy herself in such ways.

She was like me, in a way. _'No.'_ I thought. _'She's nothing like you._'

Expectedly, my gaze turned to her. Her brown hair was swept up under a grey hat, all but one loose curl witch she twirled around her finger. The beautiful grey eyes that had scared me more than any storm cloud, were closed in concentration. Jem had placed his hand over hers, and she clencheched it tightly. Anyone else would have thought that she was wishing fervently for CHarlotte to win, but I knew different.

Sure, we all wanted to keep the Institute, but Tessa's slight grimace said to me that she just wanted to get out of here.

"Charlotte Fairchild Branwell, you have won the Institute!" Counsul Wayland announced. We all-the Institute residants, cheered, well, all of us but Tessa. She clapped, but nothing else, and her face was one of relief.

Why?

Slowly, the cavernous room emptied out, and eventually I found myself stepping out into the sunlight of the church. **(A/N I can't remember what the Council Room was in, sorry.) **

I was about to make a joke about how Charlotte was worried about our winning to Jem, when I noticed a strange cariage pulling up to the building. It was a lilac color, with black curtains, and a black horse. On the side was an image of an intracately designed celtic swirl. A woman in lavendar stepped out, with black hair, and an asian look. **  
**

"Miss. Grey!" She called, and I instantly moved to block Tessa from her gaze. The woman glared, then smirked. "And who, _exactly_, are _you?_"

"I'm someone who doesn't want Tessa dragged off to Mortmain." I held my ground. "Correction, _we're_ people who don't want her dragged off." Jem joined me.

She just laughed, and Tessa put hands on our shoulders. "It's okay. I want to hear why she's here."

"But-" Jem let her move past, and gave me a look.

"It's fine."

"Good," the stranger clapped her hands. "now, Tessa, I believe, Mags wishes to see you."

"Mags?" We all questioned. Who the heck was _'Mags'_?

"Yes, Mags. You probably know him as Warlock Magnus Bane. I prefer to call him by a special name."

Tessa stepped forward and took the woman's hand. "Well, thank you, Miss. Bane. I'll gladly speak with Magnus." Her smile was pained.

"Wait, Mrs. Bane? Are you Magnus' wife?" Henry looked confused, as did Sophie and basically everyone but Tessa and Charlotte.

Mrs. Bane brought her hand to her forehead. "Why does everyone think that?" She sighed. "No, I'm not Magnus' wife." at this, she swepped off her hat, to reveal cat ears. "No, I'm his sister."

I didn't see that one coming, but still made a joke to dispel my shock. "So, you're a cat? No wonder you think you're his sister, it must be a lot easier than being his wife!" I laughed.

She glared, and the tabby ears slanted back, too much like Church for my tastes. And her hand was on fire. "If you ever make a jab like that again, Mr. Herondale, I promise to cut out your tongue and place it somewhere you might not like."

I gulped, but didn't say anying.

"Good." She swept her hat back over her ears. "Now, Tessa, shall we be going?"

"Yes," Tessa walked over to Henry and Charlotte. "I just have to say goodbye."

"Of course." The warlock's tone had a deeper, sadder, undercurrant that I didn't like.

"Charlotte, Henry, thank you for all the hospitality, and I'll see you soon."

"What do you mean soon?" Henry placed a hand over one of hers. "Don't you mean tonight?"

"No, I think I'll be away for a few days." Then Tessa mumbled something that I couldn't hear. And she moved to Sophie. They were farther away, so I couldn't hear that either. But the lady's maid had tears in her eyes, and a feeling of dread crept into my stomach and settled there.

Jem was next. "Wǒ yǒngyuǎn ài nǐ. Jem. Good bye." **  
**

"Good bye, Tessa. I'll see you in a few days." They hugged, and it was my turn.

"Will."

"Tessa."

She wispered so I had to lean closer, and so we could not be overheard. "I know you think I'm on a path to destruction, but this is the only path I can take. I'll see you in a few days." She smiled, and I knew somehow, that she was lying. We would not see her soon, and she had no ways to tell us that.  
She nearly ran to the waiting carriage and swiftly pulled the door shut behind her and Magnus' sister as they pulled away.

I wanted to run after them, grab Tessa into my arms, and tell her that everything would be alright, but we both knew that everything would not be alright.

Not after today.

* * *

**Tessa POV**

_Will, I'm sorry. I know you think I should stay for Jem, and you, but don't you see? I'm leaving for you and Jem, to keep you from harm and sadness. So don't follow. We may never cross paths again after this, but it is better. By staying, I'll only cause you two pain, suffering, and my own heartbreak, which are my crosses to bear not yours. I would die before I let that happen. I_ will _die. So, for once__, Will, I can be Sydney Carton. _I_ will suffer for _you_ this time. _I thought as the carriage pulled me away, praying that he'd understand. **  
**

* * *

**Okay, so she finally left the Institute, and we had some heartbreak. Plus, I finally understand Author's Notes. Or, at least, writing them.**

**I cried while writing Will's ending bit, seriously. But she had to leave, and it's done.**

**Elizabeth wasn't my best, and I'm sorry, but I have a remedy for that, whenever we come to her I'm going to be talking from another's perspective. Most of the time.**

**Woolsey is NOT A FOOTMAN! I'm sorry if it seemed that way. **

**Well, that's the chapter someone nearly killed me for, so yea. **

**Oh, thank you to HERONDALECAKE! I loved your reviews, and I messed up last time I did this, I think, but still! I LOVE YOU! and seriously, become a writing critic. You'll go far. **

**Bye!**


	7. Left

**Okay, I know that people are planning on killing me for not updating, but I have a somewhat good reason. **

**I was tired. Not of the story, but just tired in general, and with school and everything, I didn't have enough time. Also, I don't know where to go with this story, now that it's plot has come to the point I always wanted.**

**So, call it an extreme case of writer's block. And I mean EXTREME! extreme. So yea, but now I'm back on track, and I'm ready for Tessa to have some more adventures. **

**Bear in mind, that no matter what, I will never own these characters. Well, except Elizabeth. But she's a different story.**

* * *

**Tessa POV**

_Will, I'm sorry. I know you think I should stay for Jem, and you, but don't you see? I'm leaving for you and Jem, to keep you from harm and sadness. So don't follow. We may never cross paths again after this, but it is better. By staying, I'll only cause you two pain, suffering, and my own heartbreak, which are my crosses to bear not yours. I would die before I let that happen. I_ will _die. So, for once__, Will, I can be Sydney Carton. _I_ will suffer for _you_ this time. _I thought as the carriage pulled me away, praying that he'd understand.

* * *

We made our way to the ship yard, taking longer than I had first experianced, probably so that it would seem I was being taken to Magnus. How I wished that I was, but no. This was my decision, and I had to live with that. What sort of person would I be if I went back on a promise that spared myself, and my loved ones from tremendous pain? I didn't even want to answer that.

"Tessa?" a voice broke my thoughts, again.

"Yes?" I answered without looking.

"We are here." Finally, I looked over, seeing Elizabeth and her brother beside the open carriage door. Magnus was the one who had spoken, and he held his black jacketed arm out to me. I waved it away, knowing that he was to stay behind. As he had told me when I saw him in the carriage when I first stepped in.

"You know you can turn back now. It won't be cowardice." Elizabeth straightened her hat.

"I know. But I'm not trying to be brave." My voice was sullen, and the slight rain was the exact match for my were on a large plaza, with several docks to either side, some with ships, some without. "So, which is the one that we are taking?"

"That one." Elizabeth pointed. The said ship was large and black, with white trim on the steam stacks and rim. In hard to see cursive on the side was the word Ti. . .

"Titan." Magnus pointed. "It's a highly recommended ride, and has always been on time. It's beautiful, and has great service. Plus, you two ladies will be in a first class compartment." He beamed proudly, as if the ship's review was for him.

"Magnus? Is there something you're not telling us?" Elizabeth poked him.

"Maybe." He cheeked. "Ah well, let us get you two settled." So we started towards the ship.

* * *

It turned out, that Magnus really had gotten us first class, and for a very low fee, considering that he apparently _owned_ the vessel. Elizabeth slapped him for that, and a half an hour later, we boarded.

Our rooms were neat and an odd cream color. Somewhere between beige, orange, and peach. There were two bedrooms, a lounge, and a small writing room, quite like the office Charlotte had in the Institute.

Oh, Charlotte. I still couldn't believe I had left, and for good. But, as I kept telling myself, it was the right decision.

"Tessa, the ship's ready to depart. Would you like to come and wave goodbye with me?" Elizabeth rested a green gloved hand on my shoulder. It was then that I noticed she had changed clothes. Now the warlock wore a leaf green frock coat, with a matching traveling dress. Her hat was black though, with a raven's feather.  
I didn't really want to leave the room, but it was my last chance to see London, and despite all that had happened, I did love the city. So I nodded to her request, and we headed out onto the deck.

When I looked over the railing at all the people waving goodbye, I couldn't help but wonder if there was a special thing the Shadowhunters did on occasion like this.

"Of course they do, Tessa. They have a special ritual for everything." Elizabeth waved. "But so do we warlocks. Look."

There was Magnus, standing atop his carriage, with his hands encased in blue fire, and the words "Goodbye dear Theresa Grey" painted in a darker blue, higher in the air. It was that that finally broke me, and I burst into tears.

While I silently cried, my hand waved of it's own accord. When I finally looked up, just as the ship was starting to move, Magnus' face told me that he knew what it was like. And he probably did, but that wasn't what made my tears still.

It was the black carriage, sitting in the back of the croud. . .with a design of two snakes eating eachother's tails on the side.

* * *

**Okay, I know that this is short, but I had promised to post it yesterday, and I wanted to get it done. So, Tessa has left London, but has she really escaped? Or will danger by the name of Mortmain follow her everywhere?**

**Read, Fav, Follow, and/or Review to find out!**


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